It's All Your Fault at Work

“This book belongs in every leader’s library. Although I believe there’s a pearl of good in everyone, some people’s pearl is hard to find. You may not be able to change a high conflict personality, but by using Bill Eddy’s and Georgi DiStefano’s techniques, you’ll be able to keep the focus on solutions rather than arguments.”

“Bill Eddy’s model for high-conflict personalities has proved an invaluable aid for us when working with our toughest employee relations cases. His practical advice provides a very useful framework for recognizing and understanding different workplace personalities and developing the most effective approach to handling them.”

“In today’s global economy, increased collaboration forces more complexity and turbulence upon us. In this environment, high-conflict personalities struggle more than ever to manage their extremes and maintain control of their lives and their relationships with others. As extreme behaviors proliferate, we are tasked with being more measured in our response. Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano offer an impressive practical tool for all of those caught in the dysfunctions of our modern workplace. Recommended to all global executives dealing with conflict and change!”

“Bill Eddy and Georgi DiStefano manage to combine their advanced knowledge and skills to produce practical and workable tips. Easy to read, understand, and use—a really useful and helpful book.”

“It’s All Your Fault at Work presents expertly crafted strategies and techniques for dealing with difficult people in the workplace, where it is not possible to ignore them or walk away. Here are clear, concise, commonsense interventions for managing a wide array of dysfunctional personality traits and personality disorders. Their user-friendly educational approach is based on a deep understanding of the dynamics of high-conflict people in all their manifestations. The authors provide sage advice that encourages a productive focus not on how to deal with the problem behaviors but, instead, on how to set realistic goals and objectives for managing such issues. Based on their experience and expertise in mental health counseling, substance abuse treatment, and mediation and dispute resolution, this book transfers their knowledge to the real-life everyday work environment—offering an important reference guide for all of us.”

“Bill Eddy has done it again! We all deal with difficult people and bad behavior but are often at a loss of what to do when confronted with it in our own lives, whether at work or at home. Bill and his co-author, Georgi DiStefano, provide a succinct overview of the five common personality types along with tips, strategies and numerous examples for how to deal with them. The diagrams illustrated help us understand that high conflict behavior is a range of behavior on a continuum. The examples provided of HCPs such as Frank Underwood in the House of Cards and the in-depth look at Steve Jobs really helped drive the points home. The MAD, BAD, RAD, and CARS acronyms are useful in remembering the simple, step-by-step approaches available to keep us sane in insane encounters. And, I love the emphasis on “feed forward” instead of “feed-back” when communicating and how it ties into the workings of the brain. The humor woven into this serious topic create a sense of hope and empowerment that something can be done to deal with these difficult behaviors and high conflict people. Kudos! An invaluable tool to everyone in the workplace!”

“Bill and Georgi have given me a sturdy key to turn the lock on the door that had seemed, at the time, permanently stuck shut. They invited me to think about how to take an insurmountable pile of thorny, irrational issues and turn them into professionally astute moments of respectful action. The key has never turned without some amount of labour, but it has been made less effortful with a healthy dollop of insights, options, and solutions.”

“L. Georgi DiStefano, LCSW, is weaves a career of counseling and coaching experience this book and her seminars, and her real-life examples help managers and employees grasp the learning objectives quickly. Georgi’s content is ‘spot-on’ in terms of what’s happening now in the workplace, and how to apply her techniques and skills right away. She is a rare gem when it comes to resources that enhance the organization, its people, and ultimately its capabilities. As a member of the executive team and someone who is responsible for Human Resources, I rely upon Georgi to understand and support our company’s learning priorities and she never disappoints!”

“Managers need tools and training to work with high-conflict personalities (HCPs) and situations with confidence. The authors have developed practical and easily remembered methods and techniques that help managers recognize a possible high-conflict personality, keep calm, gather information, and know what to do next.”

“I have consulted with Georgi DiStefano for years, and her advice and counseling in dealing with challenging customers has been extremely beneficial. It made a difference in how I dealt with these customers. With her insight, I realized they could not be changed, but by using the methods outlined in the book, I was able to sustain manageable, long-term, mutually beneficial relationships with them. These effective techniques have a wide application in the workplace.”

“Every employment manager should have this book within easy reach for help in reducing tensions and conflict with certain employees—the ones nothing seems to work with, the employees Bill Eddy has identified as high-conflict people. The methods in this book and Bill’s state-of-the-art trainings are just the antidote for dealing with toxic workplace environments that these employees create.”