Caught in the Middle

Do you worry that your relationship conflict is harming your children? Separation and divorce are tough enough on grown-ups, and they can be even tougher on kids. Parents may expect their children to be their allies, messengers, or spies. That’s a lot of pressure for a kid! And it doesn’t have to be this way.

In Caught in the Middle: A Letter to My Parents, Dr. Benjamin Garber shares Emma’s story of how parental conflict feels to a child. You’ll learn practical strategies for cooperating, communicating, and putting your kids’ needs first, so they can have the childhood they deserve.

Emma, a fictitious 18-year-old high school graduate who grew up in the middle of her parents’ selfish divorce and co-parenting war. Emma is an amalgam of the thousands of children that have found themselves caught in the middle of their parents’ conflicts. The rage and narcissistic injuries that these parents live with day-to-day blinds them to their children’s needs. As a result, children like Emma are prematurely thrust into the adult world. They are forced to become their parents’ allies and confederates, messengers and spies. They give up their childhoods in order to serve their parents’ selfish needs. They become chameleons, changing who they are in order to fit into the adult world, or ostriches, burying their heads in the sands of denial.

Emma’s done a very selfless thing by sharing this journal with you. The thoughts and feelings that she shares here are very private. Even embarrassing. But Emma and I have decided to put this book in your hands in the singular hope that maybe you will make different choices than her parents did. Maybe by sharing her journal, Emma can help you learn to raise healthier children.

#2 IN THE 3-PART
HEALTHY PARENTING series
BY DR. BENJAMIN GARBER

The Author

Benjamin D. Garber, PhD, is a New Hampshire licensed psychologist, a former Guardian ad litem, and a Parenting Coordinator. He consults and testifies in courts around the world in matters concerned with the dynamics of the conflicted family system. He is an internationally renowned speaker and an award winning freelance journalist, writing in the areas of child and family development for popular press publications appearing around the world and in juried professional publications in both law and psychology. Dr. Garber welcomes you to learn more about his work on behalf of children at www.FamilyLawConsulting.org. 

Dr. Garber is the author of numerous other books including:

• Ten Child-Centered Forensic Family Evaluation Tools

• Roadmap to the Parenting Plan Worksheet

• Holding Tight Letting Go

• Developmental Psychology For family Law Professionals

• Keeping Kids out of the Middle

• High Conflict Litigation

Book Details

Publisher: Unhooked Books
Publication Date: May 4, 2019
Pages: 90
Binding: Paperback
ISBN (print): 9781950057221
Author: Benjamin D Garber

Table of Contents

Introduction
Chapter 1: Divorce doesn't harm children. Parents do.
Chapter 2: But They're too Young to Understand!
Chapter 3: Kids Blame Themselves for Their Parents' Behavior
Chapter 4: Put the Child's Needs First
Chapter 5: Structure Reduces Anxiety
Chapter 6: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Other Childhood Psychiatric Illnesses
Chapter 7: Therapy & Medication? If You Can't Drain the Pool, Get a Life Preserver!
Chapter 8: "We" Messages
Chapter 9: Emotions Aren't Logical
Chapter 10: Whose Needs Are Being Served
Chapter 11: But I Only See Her Ten Hours a Week
Chapter 12: Making "Change Day" Easier on Everyone Chapter 13: Denial, Minimization, and Escape
Chapter 14: Is Anger the Opposite of Love?
Chapter 15: Parent-Parent Communications
Chapter 16: Keeping Kids Out of the Middle
Chapter 17: Fantasies of the Intact Family Persist
Chapter 18: The Best Interest of the Child? Beware of the Legal System!
Chapter 19: TMI!
Chapter 20: Childhood Does Not End at 18 Years Old
Resources That Can Help
The Author

Praise for Caught in the Middle