An Interview with Bill Eddy: Calming Upset People with EAR Ongoing Blog Series Part 4
In this ongoing series of blogs over the next 4 weeks, Bill Eddy discusses his newly published book Calming Upset People with EAR and how this approach to communication can change a high-stress situation in minutes.
7. Why might we want to use EAR statements on ourselves and what would that look like?
Many people don’t realize that they can often improve their own mood by giving themselves EAR Statements. It’s our own self-talk that can bring us down or boost us up. This is the basis of cognitive therapies for everything from depression to anxiety to recovery from substance abuse. For example, you could say to yourself “You’re good at bouncing back from bad situations” or “you have a lot of good skills that will help you in the long run.” So many people get stuck or feel helpless and hopeless, but we all have the ability to help ourselves feel better regardless of how awful things may feel at the moment. You can use EAR Statements to turn your life around at any time and people in terrible situations have done that over and over again through the ages.
8. Who might benefit most from your book?
I’d like to say that everyone on the planet would benefit, in all cultures and situations. In the meantime, it should be especially useful to people dealing with conflicts between people, such as family members, co-workers, and community members. But anyone who has an interest in people and wants to help people get along will benefit, because it’s all about the conflicts that arise in any relationship.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is the co-founder and Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute in San Diego, California. He pioneered the High Conflict Personality Theory (HCP) and has become an expert on managing disputes involving people with high conflict personalities. He was the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center for 15 years, a Certified Family Law Specialist lawyer representing clients in family court for 15 years, and a licensed clinical social worker therapist with twelve years’ experience.
